Tears and Rain
by Addison Beckett
Summary: Well what can I say. We just had the episode yesterday here in Germany and altough I watched all episodes so far I had to rewatch this one.. and then I came up with the idea of this fanfic. Pairing : Addek Maddison part 5 is up: Finale
1. Chapter 1

Okay. I was in the mood to write a little Addek. I miss them so much and I think it's a shame that after 11 years of marriage and knowing each other for half of their lives, they aren't even capable to have a normal conversation on the show. They barely interact with each other. Its weird cause the hospital isn't that big so they just have to bump into each other eventually.

Anyway. This Story is not set in season 3 after the divorce, no. It's set in season 2 at the end of the episode "Yesterday". I was watching it last night and I really thought about why Addison didn't end up going to Joes to meet Mark. After all Derek had been a Jerk for the past episodes…

Oy.. Let's start with the story, shall we?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Although I would love to own Kate Walsh. (A girl can have a girl crush, cant she?)

**Tears and Rain**

Addison Montgomery-Shepherd used to be perfect. She used to wear the perfect clothes, the perfect make up, perfect shoes and she used to live the perfect life. She had everything she ever wanted until her husband Derek found her in bed screwing his best friend Mark Sloan.

From that moment on, her life went downhill. Derek just went away the next morning and Addison was left with nothing but a broken heart.

She did regret hopping into bed with Mark, but he was there when Derek wasn't. He listened to her while Derek didn't. He looked at her even if Derek couldn't and he touched her, which Derek had stopped a long time ago.

Derek had been indifferent for more than 3 months. He worked late and sometimes he even stayed in the hospital, sleeping in the on-call room than coming home to share a bed with his wife.

Addison tried so hard to make him notice her, to make him see that she needed him, that the distance they had built up was destroying her. But he didn't care. Soon he also forgot her birthday, their anniversary, and after that she even had to make up excuses why he didn't have time to spend Christmas with her and his family.

That was the moment when she turned to Mark for support. He was their best friend and he was there for her. They spent a lot of time together, Mark always being there when Derek couldn't make it to dinner, or on her birthday when Addison sat alone in a dark living room crying her eyes out.

It felt good to actually have someone who cared about her and at first it really was just friendship between them. Then, after a while it eventually turned out to her lying in his lap during a movie, while he softly caressed her hair. Slowly she started to develop feelings for the man at her side and she knew that Mark shared those.

xoxoxox

One night, Derek was working late, missing again a special day in their life (it was the anniversary of the day they first met), Mark was once again by her side to pick up the pieces Derek left when he stood her up. And it just happened. They didn't intend to do it, they didn't plan on doing it, it just happened. Then Derek walked in and painfully it occurred to Addison what she had done.

A long time had passed since that night. And now Addison sat in a dark, dirty little trailer in the middle of nowhere, her arms around her legs and was about to cry.

She had reunited with Derek and was now living with him in Seattle but somehow it didn't feel right.

When she had left New York, she had not only left the city, she had also left Mark. He was there for her after Derek had left and she found herself falling in love with him shortly after that. She thought they could make it work, that she didn't throw her marriage away for a fling without future. And for a little while her life was back to being perfect. Until Mark cheated on her.

Addison now could exactly tell what Derek must have felt when he walked in on his wife having sex with his best friend, cause that's exactly what she felt when she walked in on Mark screwing that young blond nurse.

It was the same day Richard called her for a case to Seattle, also telling her that Derek had been working there for the past months and was now officially dating an intern. At this point Addison didn't think twice about it. She packed her suitcase and was leaving New York the same day.

All she wanted to do, was to hand the divorce papers she had drawn up months ago to Derek, let him sign them and move on with her life. Even if this would mean that she would be all alone from now on.

Addison wanted to let him go, let him be happy again, she didn't want to hurt him even more than she already did. She was truly sorry about what happened back in New York. It made her stomach squirm just to think about it. She had no idea how she was able to hurt Derek so much. Yes she was lonely and yes she did fall for Mark, but she was married so she should have tried harder to save their marriage.

When she walked through the doors of Seattle Grace Hospital she noticed him immediately. And when she saw him with… _her_… a jolt of jealousy ran through her entire body but that wasn't the only feeling that built up inside of her. She had missed him and she wanted nothing more than walk up to him and kiss him, tell him that she loved him, that she was sorry that she needed him…. but she couldn't do it.

He was cold towards her and she couldn't blame him, not at all. It was her fault, her fault that he was broken, her fault that he was hurt and her fault that he picked an intern to sleep with.

But Addison wasn't a person who was willing to give up so easily. The moment she saw him with Meredith, the fire in her started to come back and she wanted to fight for him, wanted to make him hers again, wanted him back.

She watched the couple closely as she stayed in the hospital and worked on the case Richard called her for, and whenever she saw Derek flirting with his dirty mistress as she put it, she felt bad.

She was sick of this feeling and her old plan to finally make a straight clean break and file a divorce came back to her mind.

So when she found the two of them standing in front of the elevator she passed the papers to him. Meredith had walked away as soon as she had approached them but Addison left the ball in his court now.

And he didn't sign the papers. He took her back. He wanted to work things out. And NOW he was punishing her every day for what she had done. He was making her feel every day what he felt when she cheated on him and she was hurting. A LOT.

Today had been the worst day so far. Well there was a reason for that and again Addison couldn't blame Derek.

Mark showed up at SGH, he wanted her back, he said he missed her, he said he loved her and the most important thing was, he made her realize that her marriage was over. That there was no point on holding on to someone who doesn't want you.

She saw the hurt in Derek eyes when Mark showed up. She saw him clenching his jaw and turning into the opposite direction, she even saw him hitting Mark. But the thing that made her realize that her marriage was more than over, was the reason why he hit Mark. He had been talking to Meredith and that pissed him off.

xoxoxox

Addison rolled her eyes and sank even further down the chair. She couldn't hold the tears back any longer. She couldn't pretend that everything was going to be all right, cause it was not. She loved her husband, more than everything else but maybe that was not enough.

The pain in her heart wouldn't fade, and Derek's feelings for Meredith wouldn't either.

Suddenly she remembered Marks words. He wanted her to come home. He wanted her to admit that her marriage failed, he wanted to meet her at Joe;s Bar, and suddenly it dawned on her.

What was the point sitting in this stupid trailer, 5 feet away from a man who couldn't care less if she would drop dead the next minute? Wouldn't she rather be with a man who told her that he loved her, that he cared about her, that he missed her?

Addison swallowed the lump in her throat and stood up.

xoxoxox

Derek Shepherd was lying on the bed in his trailer and was facing the ceiling. The events of this day were playing over and over in his mind.

He hated Mark Sloan for showing up at SGH and rubbing the affair with his wife right into his face. He hated Mark Sloan for being an unemotional jackass and he hated him for reminding him of the worst night of his life.

This night just couldn't be erased from his mind. It was impossible .. even if he tried not to think about it during the day, busying himself with work, he knew that the dreams would hunt him at night.

He couldn't forgive Addison and Mark for what they had done, he just couldn't. He knew he told Addison by not signing the divorce papers, that he wanted to try to make things right but things with Addison were just.. complicated.. and things with Meredith were so … easy. He didn't want complicated right now, he wanted easy.

The truth was, he loved Addison from the bottom of his heart, he still loved her, it just was… complicated. He also knew that he treated her bad, really bad, even worse than he did back in New York. He wasn't just indifferent, he was being mean, sarcastic and a total idiot, but that was the way he was coping. He couldn't change it. Not yet anyway.

He heard her sob and his heart sank. It hurt him to see or hear her in pain, but somehow it was what he thought was the right thing to do. He wanted her to feel the pain he was feeling. But even with all of that he still loved her.

Deep in his heart he wanted to make it work with her. He knew that she was the only one he wanted to be with, but he needed time, time to vent, time to proceed, time to forgive.

Suddenly he heard her stand up and seconds later she stood in the doorway of the bedroom. Her eyes were red and swollen and he wanted nothing more than to jump up and ask her what was wrong… but he didn't.

Instead he looked another way and ignored her. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw her walking out to the closet getting out a huge suitcase throwing it on the bed and starting to fill it with clothes.

Curiosity and angst got the best of him so he turned back around his eyes wide open.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" he asked a little harsher than he had intended

"Packing." she replied in a whisper.

"Why?"

"Well... you made it pretty clear that you don't want me, that you don't love me, that you don't even care for me, but there is someone who does all those things... so I'm going.. you won.. you are free. go and be with your intern."

"What?... Addison…"

"Don't …. You punished me long enough Derek.. I got it … our marriage is over… fine… I tried to make it work again.. I moved to Seattle and left everything behind.. I live with you in this goddamn trailer and you know how hard that is for me… I wanted to be with you.. I would have done everything for you to forgive me… but you cant… that's okay… but I'm not a masochist .. I cant take it any longer.. if you wanted to hurt me.. then congrats you did a pretty good job at it.. but its enough.. I'm done."

"Addison wait.." Derek had jumped up from the bed looking at his wife. His heart started to pound in his chest faster and faster. "I …. I…"

"What Derek? What?????"

Derek couldn't form the sentence … he couldn't get a word out…

Addison sighed, closed the suitcase and stormed out of the room. "I'll get the rest of my stuff later." She called over her shoulder .. and then.. she left.

Derek stood in the middle of the room and was still looking into the direction she disappeared minutes ago. He couldn't believe what just happened. He couldn't believe she left and he couldn't believe that he did nothing to make her stay. Finally the words came out of his mouth.

"I don't want you to go Addison, I'm sorry….. I love you. I'm Sorry"

**TBC**

A/N: yeah I know it probably looks not really like Addek right now.. but I think it was about time for Derek to get his ass up and fight for the woman he loves. We will also see a bit of Maddison in this fic but I think it will end up Addek... if you have suggestions .. wishes for this fanfic ..tell me ..seriously I mean it .. if you have any you want me to write into the story.. tell me

take care,

Suz 


	2. Chapter 2

First of all, thank you for all your reviews :) they made my day and I am really glad you like this story

**goldentail** - well... not sure she will take him back yet... we will see :D

**Lu78 **- thank you :) hope you will like the next chapter

**Kahlan **- thank you. I love them too.. wish we would still catch a glimpse of them on the show

**AddisonMD **- thank you Amy :) really glad you like it ... and well Derek can be a jerk sometimes.. and yes if you do have any suggestiosn feel free to tell me

**Seashadow **- thank you :) yes I also miss them, you have no idea how much,.. really... we get nothing... I at least want them to have a friendship again.. sniff

**GrantingTroyTurner **- thanks. dont worry I wont feature the interns too much .. this story will mainly be focused on Maddek.. but I will have Richard in this chapter.. cause he knows Derek/Addison best

**basketballsuzie **- well.. I will see what I can do :D glad you like it

**Cara **- he really was a jerk.. he still is sometimes lol... and yes she tried and he didnt ... but well.. its like it is .. you wont notice what you have until its gone

**elliedakota **- hey Ellie - yes she hurt him.. he hurt her back.. and I think he even hurt her more .. cause first back in new york.. and then he punished her ... again and again

**Carys **- hey you. glad you like it. I hope you will also like the next chapter and I will update again next week hopefully :)

**Claire **- hey Crazy party soul sister.. hows tomato? And thank you :) here is the next chappy

all right... thats for my reviews... so have you guys seen the new episode? too less Addison for my taste .. bbut whooo the mcmarrieds had one little moment... well I hope we will get to see more of them soon.. I really really do miss them

Now on with the story!

**Part 2 **

_But now I know you can't tell_

_I'm down, and I'm not down anyway_

_But one day these tears, they will all run dry_

_I won't have to cry, Sweet goodbye._

Addie wasn't sure how long she had been standing in the exact same spot outside of Joe's Bar. Her hands were shaking and she still wasn't 100 sure if she was doing the right thing. She loved Derek more than anyone, but he didn't love her back, even worse, he despised her. And then there was Mark. Addie wasn't sure if she loved him but she couldn't deny certain feelings for the handsome plastic surgeon.

"It will all turn out to be okay." She mumbled before taking a deep breath and moving one step forward.

The Moment she wanted to open the wooden door to Joe's Bar she was met by someone tearing open the door and stepping out in the cold night. It was Mark.

"Addison…. What…" he stuttered blinking a few times afraid that she would be gone when he again opened his eyes fully.

"Hey." She answered sheepishly and looked at the ground. "Its not too late, is it?."

"Too late?" Mark looked up to meet her eyes and then looked back down, noticing the packed suitcase in her right hand.

"You're… coming back with me?"

Tears started to dwell up in her eyes "Yeah… I… Yes."

Mark couldn't believe his eyes and ears so he asked for confirmation "You are really coming back to New York, you… you chose me?"

"I … I can't stay here, that's for sure. You were right. My marriage is over, gosh it had been over even before this thing with us happened. He doesn't love me, he loves that slutty intern and I came to my senses and let him go."

"But what does this mean… for us …?" He couldn't meet her eyes. First time in history Mark Sloan was scared but hopeful at the same time.

"I… don't know. Mark, I can't deny that I do have feelings for you, because I do… But … well.. I'd say we have a trust issue… you hurt me Mark… But I know you are sorry about it. Let's just take in one step at the time. Baby steps even." Uncertainly she put a strand of hair behind her ear and looked up to see Mark smiling at her.

"Baby steps.. I can do that." He nodded turning serious again "You know I'm sorry about what happened with… you know.. I never meant to hurt you. Addie, you are my best friend and the woman I love. I fucked up, I know that .. but it will never happen again. Just give me… give us another chance… please."

Addison could tell from the look in his eyes that he was serious. It was the first time she looked in some eyes and saw love in them, desire, passion, but also safety and trust. She saw all of that in Mark's eyes… and still she wished it would be Derek's eyes looking at her with such intensity.

"I… I don't know … we'll see how it goes. I am sorry Mark but I can't promise you anything right now." she whispered, taking his hand "I hope that is okay with you."

Softly he touched her cheek "Of course..." he smiled and squeezed her hand lightly "But just one more thing …I'm not Derek. I won't hurt you ever again, please believe me."

Addison swallowed the lump in her throat… "I know… but please … understand that … I'm not over him yet… and I will probably never be. Heck I shared over 15 years with him, he is a part of my life... he will always be."

"I know that Addie, I know… He still is my best friend and he is still family to me and that won't change ever, but he hurt you, in New York and then here in Seattle, you deserve someone who cares for you, someone who loves you, someone who treats you right and I am sorry to say that… but Derek isn't that man anymore." He carefully watched his words, afraid that Addison would get mad at him

"I know." She sighed. "I know all of that. Although I am not sure about the "deserve better" thing. I screwed up… we screwed up. Maybe I never deserved another chance." The first tears made their way down her cheek

"Everyone deserves a second chance Addie." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb "Now let's go, you must be freezing."

Addison nodded as Mark took the suitcase out of her hand and walked up to a cab which had just stopped right in front of them.

Addison looked surprised but followed Mark

"The bartender called a cab 15 minutes ago."

Addison only nodded and got into the car waiting for Mark to join her.

The ride to Marks hotel was a silent one, only a few glances were shared between them. As the cab stopped Mark got out and held a hand out to Addison. She took it and stepped out off the car.

"Did you book your flight back already?" Addison asked as they were standing in the elevator making their way to Marks room. "Yeah... but I will cancel, and book a later flight for both of us." He took her hand back in his and stared at her.

"Thank you. I... I need to pack the rest of my stuff.. And I want to wait until tomorrow in the afternoon when Derek has a surgery and won't be home."

"All right. I can help if you want to."

"No… it's okay…" she whispered not meeting his gaze.

They reached the floor Marks room was on and left the elevator. Mark took out his key and opened the door.

"I have to call Richard." Addison suddenly remarked

"You can call him in the morning Ad, its late, you need some sleep."

She nodded again as she entered the hotel room. Mark turned on the light and walked up to the Bedroom and put the suitcase in front of the closet.

"You can take a shower or a hot bath if you want to." He said in her direction but she shook her head.

"No thanks … I will just … go to bed."

"Okay… I … I'll sleep on the couch." Mark answered hesitantly

"You don't have to, I … can you hold me tonight? I just … I just need you."

"Sure. There's nothing I would rather do." Mark nodded and started to undress until he was only in his boxers.

Addison walked up to her suitcase and took out some silver satin pyjamas, walked up to the bathroom and got changed. As she walked out Mark was already in bed and under the covers. She walked up to him and stepped into bed, crawling up beside him. He wrapped her in his arms and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Addison smiled as she looked up and lightly brushed her lips over his. "Thank you." She whispered before she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

"You're welcome." He mumbled softly stroking her hair before drifting off as well.

xoxo

Derek hadn't slept all night. He just couldn't get the last night out of his head, and honestly he didn't want to. Addison's leaving finally had woken him up, he finally realized what he was about to loose, or what he already lost. He hoped it wasn't too late to make things right, to make her come back into his life, even if this meant that he would have to fight for her. Because he would do everything to win her back.

"Richard." He called out

"Good morning Derek." Richard answered coldly

"Have you… have you seen Addison."

"No." Richard paused "But she called."

"What did she say? When is she coming in? Where is she?" Derek asked hurriedly his hands visibly shaking.

Richard's face went soft when he noticed that Derek actually seemed to care.

"She is not coming in." he told him sadly

"She called me this morning and she quit her Job, Derek. She is going back to New York."

"What??" Derek was stunned "I… I have to keep her from doing that."

Richard Webber softly reached out for his arm "What happened between you two Derek?"

He sighed "I … She left last night… she … I punished her for what she did. I ignored her I didn't notice her and I… I said I would try to make things work with her but … I didn't try at all. I didn't want to... and then… she just left. She told me that she couldn't handle it anymore... that it was too much, that I don't love her..."

"Is it true?"

"What?" Derek asked confused

"That you don't love her."

"No… I... I do love her.. I was just so … I was hurt for what she did… and... it was so hard to forgive her. I couldn't let her back in... I wanted her to feel what I feel."

"Well, you did a pretty good job at that I guess. She was crying when she called me. Derek. You know you are like a son to me. But Also she is like a daughter to me... and I know Addison screwed up big time when she… did this thing… But she really is sorry for what she has done, she really wanted to make things work with you. She apologized so many times and I could see that she really loves you, that you were the one she wanted to be with."

Derek ran his fingers through his hair. "I know that… now. I know she is sorry and I … gosh I fucked up."

"You can say that." Richard nodded

"I want her back Richard. I really want to make things work with her this time. Did she say something about what time she wanted to leave Seattle?"

"No, she only told me that she was going back to New York as soon as possible."

"I know it's a lot to ask you this … but can I have the day…"

"Go… go and make things right, don't screw up again or I swear I will kick your sorry ass." Richard smirked, turned around and left.

Derek didn't think twice. He took off his lab-coat threw it on the floor and ran as fast as he could.

**TBC**

All right... that was chapter 2 :) I really hope you liked it. If you did please leave a review. I love reviews :) sings push the button.. push push the button  



	3. Chapter 3

wow... last week has been a crazy week. First the news about the GA Spin off starring Kate Walsh.

Seriously? I mean seriously?!!! A GA Spin Off starring Kate Walsh? I mean... on the one hand it's absolutely amazing... 45 minutes filled with my favourite redhead and no Meh all together… but... then… on the other hand... I love Kate on GA... I love what she did to GA... How she is the best thing that happened to the show... and what about Addex??? Gosh seriously? Shonda builds up this beautiful relationship for nothing?? Eyesex, gentle touching... lines like "I'd notice" for nothing? I really can't believe that. I

Don't get me wrong... 45 minutes of Kate Walsh every week would be like a dream coming true... but I don't like Spin Offs in general. I know there are / were a few good ones out there that made quite an impression and had lots of seasons, like Frasier or Boston Legal... but that's not often the case... I mean... Joey?? Anyone?? I know it would be a great opportunity for Kate and I want her to be happy with what she is doing. I will just miss her on GA a LOT .

After those news.. the new epi came up... and I was shocked... not about all the Mer/Der stuff... (the tv also works without sound and I finally got to do some cleaning during those scenes) but I was shocked about Addison and her sentence when she watched M/D. I mean.. WTF? "He never felt that way about me?" that really broke my heart into... well... a billion pieces I guess. Shonda really hates us Addek fans sometimes.

Is there even an Addek Fan left after this episode? Addek fans .. are you still out there? Raise your hand if you are.. well... I guess after that episode.. I will definitely stick to Fanfictions..

So anyway… I need to write or this news will drive me complete nuts… and I don't want to leave this story unfinished... so I write… and hope that it turns out in a good way.

I also wanted to say thank you so much for all the lovely reviews.

**AddisonMD **- thank you. Hmm maybe you can decide after this chapter who you want to have her with.

**ingridmill **- thanks a lot :) and I guess it was about time that Addie stood up for herself.

**Ladyforga72 **- thank you :)

**Carys **- thanks. Haha ... well... I just want to make things interesting .. and well apperantly it worked ;) And yeah.. I also ship Addie with 3 men... a bit too much, huh?

**Ellie **- Thank you ... Yeah I like Richard too. He is like a father to those. Hopefully you will like the next chapter as well.

**Rosy **- Thank you. Yes me too.. I always had the "what if" in my mind .. so I went with it and created that little fanfic here. and yep.. spero che ti piache il prossimo capitolo

**Sibel **- Thank you. I also wish that things like that and other things described in other fanfictions would happen in the show .. but for that... we would have to write the show laughing and I agree.. its good to still have at least the ff´s if we are not getting Addek on the show.

**Miranda **- thank you :) I am really honoured that you are reading this story... as an not really addek fan.. hope you keep it up

**Tna **- Haha ... well .. it never makes me tired hearing it again :)

On that note I want to thank Tna for beta reading. You rock!

all right.. thats it with the AN.. I know it has been long ..sorry for my ranting

* * *

**Previously on Tears and Rain:**

Derek ran his fingers through his hair. "I know that… now. I know she is sorry and I … gosh I fucked up."

"You can say that." Richard nodded

"I want her back Richard. I really want to make things work with her this time. Did she say something about what time she wanted to leave Seattle?"

"No, she only told me that she was going back to New York as soon as possible."

"I know it's a lot to ask you this … but can I have the day…"

"Go… go and make things right, don't screw up again or I swear I will kick your sorry ass." Richard smirked, turned around and left.

Derek didn't think twice. He took off his lab-coat threw it on the floor and ran as fast as he could.

**Part 3**

_I start leaving fast, driving pace_

_Fueled by your pretty face_

_Knowing that I require more_

_Wait a second turn around_

_I can fall further down_

_As my car drives me straight to your door_

When Derek pulled up in front of his trailer he noticed her car parked right in front of it. A sigh of relief came over his lips when he walked up to the door. He opened it slowly peeking into the room.

"Addison?" he called out as he climbed up the stairs and made his way inside.

He heard something, sounding like a cup crashing down and went up to the kitchen. "There you are."

"Derek." She sighed "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in surgery right now?" she asked, her voice calm, without any emotion.

"I took the day off." He replied casually his eyes wandering around the small area.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing up the rest of my stuff. Don't worry it wont take long, I'm almost done."

"Addison…"

"I told you I will hurry, just give me some time Derek."

"That's not what I wanted to say." He hid the hands in his pockets and looked at the ground.

Addison jus shrugged her shoulders and went pack to packing up the boxes.

"We need to talk Addison."

"No we don't, It's all been said… been there... done that."

"Please!" Derek's voice was pleading causing her to turn around.

"What do you want to talk to me about?"

Derek shifted uncomfortably "I ...I know…" he finally said

"You know what?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"I know that you want to go back to New York."

"Yeah I figured Richard would talk to you." Addison nodded "Its better this way Derek. I really can't do this anymore. There is nothing left for me here in Seattle... and in New York... I have my job, which they offered me back... I have friends there... and there is also..." she trailed off

"Mark." He finished her sentence… "You're going back with him, aren't you?"

She nodded afraid that the adult conversation they were having for the first time in month would turn into a wave of anger and hurt now that she broke the news to him. But he remained calm and she was almost sure she was a hurtful look in his eyes.

"I thought so." He mumbled. "Are you two…? "

"No we are not… not yet... maybe we wont ... I don't know." she stuttered

Addison turned around and closed the last box before putting it back down on the ground.

"I am done here. I will talk to my lawyer as soon as I get back to New York. I will let him draw up the papers and then send them to you. You just have to sign them... nothing more. We will split up everything 50:50 and after that I won't bother you anymore."

"Addison… I…"

"Its all right Derek, we had 11 years… that's more than some other couples can say. We should be proud of that."

"Addison…"

"I wanted to spend the rest of my live with you, and I thought you wanted that too… but apparently you don't… and I have tried to put on a thicker skin around you but it didn't work… you can call me Satan or whatever you want.. but I'm not made of stone; I can't do this to myself any longer." She picked up the box and walked up to the exit.

"Addison… wait." Derek caught up with her and took the box out of her hand putting it on the nearby table. "I made a lot of mistakes... I know I did... I have been an asshole for the last months, a complete Idiot… I finally got that… but I am sorry Addison... I am really sorry."

"Its okay." She said picking the box back up. "I have to go now."

"No!" Again he walked up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder "You don't understand… I … I don't want you to go Addison... you are my wife… I don't want to loose you... I need you Addison… I want to work it out... I want our marriage... I want you!"

Addison shook her head. "It's too late Derek." She whispered softly. "I wanted to hear those words since I moved here … but you never made the effort to tell me things like that… you never cared about my feelings... you never cared for me… and now .. that I finally made the decision to move on… you wake up from the state you were in telling me all those sweet things…. But I can't believe you anymore Derek... I can't… I'm sorry." She opened the door and walked out and up to her car. She stored the boxes at the backseat and without looking back she started the car and pulled away.

xoxo

Derek stood there for the second time in two days, watching the woman he loved leave his life, this time probably forever.

He sank to his knees finally allowing the emotions to take over. Tears were making their way down his cheek and his shoulders shook violently.

"I love you Addison." He sobbed and suddenly it dawned to him. He told her a lot of things 5 minutes ago… but he didn't tell her that he loved her. He stood up in one swift motion and run up to his car.

Maybe it wasn't too late…

**xoxo**

Addison reached the hotel about 15 minutes later, still thinking about Derek and what he told her. It was hard to walk away from him, it was hard to let him go, but she was sure that she had done the right thing. He didn't love her. Yes maybe he was afraid because she actually left him and he didn't want to be alone… maybe he had told her those things out of desperation.. but on the other side he had Meredith… so there was no need to be desperate. He would get over it in no time, he loved Meredith and now he had the chance to be with her.

She walked up to the entrance of the hotel, greeting the portiere and making her way to Marks room.

Before she could knock he opened the door.

"Hey…" he greeted her softly "You're back."

"Yeah.." she stated entering the room.

Mark sensed immediately that something had happened.

"What´s wrong?"

She sat on the bed hugging her knees. "Derek was there."

"Oh…. I thought he was supposed to be in surgery."

"He was… but apparently he took the day off."

"Did he say something?"

"A lot of things…"

"I hope he didn't say anything to hurt you." Mark walked up to her and sat down right beside her.

"No… he didn't. Not even when I told him that I was going back to New York… with you."

"Wow.. that's a first… I expected him to get mad.."

"I did too. But he just… looked defeated… hurt… sad."

"Maybe he finally realized what he lost."

"I Don't think so… maybe he just cant stand that I decided to move on and that I didn't want to be his punching bag anymore. Anyway… let's not talk about this…. When are we leaving?"

"Our flight is booked for 4 pm this afternoon.. we should leave for the airport around 1:30 pm. I talked to the hotel manager. They will send your packed stuff to New York, so you don't have to worry about that."

"All right… can I take a short nap before we have to go?"

"Sure." He smiled, rubbing her shoulders in comfort. I will wake you up when its time.

"Thank you. She cracked a little smile before stretching out on the bed and closing her eyes.

Mark put the covers around her and kissed her forehead have a good nap Addie."

**TBC **

* * *

all right... that was it for that chapter. So... What will Addison do? will she really leave with Mark? What do you guys want? Pleae leave a review :)  



	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Wow.. you guys left me speechless with all the reviews. Thank you so much.. Those comments really made my day(s). 

**AddisonMD **– I know.. I also lost faith in Addek on TV .. but I will never ever give them up in Fanfiction… you know there are so many Addek lovers here.. so just keep the faith .. we all write some good Addek and in our fanfictions Derek isn't the Jerk he portraits on TV

**Rosy **– Sorry it took me so long to post the new chapter. But hey the update is much faster. And good to know you are still there. I know how much you love Addek. Yeah I know .. Mark is not Derek.. I have to admit that sometimes I am really torn… but Addek will always be my first ship.. no matter what ship I may turn to in the end.

**iheartaddi **– aww how cute is that.. you really made my day with your hyperness about Addeklove. Thank you. Glad you like the story. And well… we will see if Derek can stop her from going away. Hope you like the next part.

**Cara **– Trust me.. its good that you didn't get to hear that line..cause seriously .. it broke us Addek lovers. And honestly.. I don't believe in that so called perfect love that is merder… I just cant believe that someone can forget 15 years of his life… its just not possible, or what do you think? I already finished this story and it's a 5 chapter story (plus maybe epilogue if I get to write it.. cause I am not really good with long fanfictions and I honestly don't know if people would follow a really long Fanfiction from me) I still hope you like the next part.. and he will work some more for her ;)

**Claire **– hehe good to know that you are hooked either way ;) but I think you will get your wish… you know me to well (how is my avi doing? ;)

**WeAreAddisonAandDerek **– hmmm maybe ;) you have to continue reading to find out.. but it wont be long anymore.. promise

**picric drea** – I will do my best : ) and yes . Shonda tries really hard to destroy us… but we are stronger than that… we love them even more now, don't we?

**XAddisonShepherdX **– hey there Addek fan.. good to know you are still out there. Well thank god there are fanfictions or I would have died already. Oh and I join you in burning things, hope you have enough things lol.

**ingridmill **– you want them to fight? Like for Addison in a romantic way or a fist fight? Hmm I thought about it.. the fist fight I mean and I would have loved to see a real fight like that on the show (not punching mark because he was talking to Meredith.. gosh that was sooo low) Glad you love my story.

**sheisMc.HOT **– Thank you blushes he will suffer another bit.. that I can promise.. and about the other thing … we will see .. hehe

**Wishing For A Love Like This** – I know... but hey... Derek is not mcjackass in my story so he will get his act together... at least I hope so

**basketballsuzie** – welcome to the club of the leftover Addek fans : ) And hmm.. we will see if Addison is going to leave or not… and thank you. Hope you like the next chapter as well.

**Tara **– Aww ... well I made up my mind so I think this is going to be an Addek Fanfiction.. But hey.. how about I write a Maddison Fanfiction. I don't like it when you are sad. And don't worry about Derek.. he will suffer a bit more.. although the Fanfiction wont be so long… First I wanted to write a few more chapters but I wasn't sure if people would like it. And about the spin off.. well so far its said that no one is joining her.. although I would love it if some people would follow her.

**ficklewriter **– Haha, anytime. Thank you hon. Same goes for you. Your Fanfiction is awesome .. but you know that already, don't you? And imagine what we could do together :D and thank you for beta reading :)

**ellie **– I know you are an Addek fan :o) join the club. But yes, the most important thing is that Addie is happy .. and me as the writer will make her happy… but with who? Hmmm.. I think you know it…

**Michele **– Well we will see about that. Another 2 chapters to go until we know how it ends. But I will try to give my best

**Sibel **- thank you. And yes I love THAT Derek as well.. wish he would start to at least care a bit on the show.. but oh well. glad you are curious.. hehe

Well well well.. the show is on hiatus right now.. .the spin off is processing.. and I am still pissed. But hey its good to know that there are so many Addek Lovers out there. Its funny but the McMarrieds thread is the most active thread on our board hehe… well people know what's good. And we don't get any hopes up for the upcoming episodes but we keep memories alive… do you guys remember the shower scene.. gosh that was hot.. Seriously.. don't you think they have about a million times more chemistry during that little scene than Merder during this bathtub scene?

For all those who cant remember exactly.. although I doubt that you cant remember cause for us Addek fans this scene was more than hot, I made some animated icons .. if you are interested, tell me

Okay I think that's enough A/N

_Previously on Tears and Rain:_

"Our flight is booked for 4 pm this afternoon.. we should leave for the airport around 1:30 pm. I talked to the hotel manager. They will send your packed stuff to New York, so you don't have to worry about that."

"All right… can I take a short nap before we have to go?"

"Sure." He smiled, rubbing her shoulders in comfort. I will wake you up when its time.

"Thank you. She cracked a little smile before stretching out on the bed and closing her eyes.

Mark put the covers around her and kissed her forehead have a good nap Addie."

**Part 4**

_And then the night becomes the day_

_and there's nothing left to say_

_If there's nothing left to say_

_then something's wrong_

Derek didn't know what to do, he didn't know where to go, all he knew, was that Mark had been staying in a hotel near the hospital, but there were so many around town that he lost count. He also lost faith that he would find the right hotel on time.

His eyes wandered to the seat right next to him where 15 beautiful long red roses were laying, filling the air with their marvellous scent. 15 red roses for every year Derek loved Addison. 15 roses for every birthday they used to spend together, every thanksgiving, every Christmas. 15 red roses which reminded him of the best years of his life.

"God I screwed up." He mumbled, smacking the steering wheel.

xoxoxo

It wasn't long until he pulled up at another hotel; parking his Mercedes he saw a taxi waiting. He was about the leave the car when he heard her voice. He recognized it immediately; he would always remember her voice, so beautiful, filled with a dark vibrating tone, making shivers run down his spine.

He got out of the car, staring right into her direction. And then he saw her, with him. Mark had his arm loosely around her waist, kissing the top of her hair smiling as she smiled back.

Derek's blood started to boil; he clenched his jaw as he continued to watch them. When they started talking Derek froze.

"I'm glad you decided to come back to New York. I really missed you Addison, you have no idea how much."

Addison didn't answer but cracked a smile leaning more into his touch

"I know it will be hard for you to get over Derek, but I will help you with it, I promise that to you."

That was it, that was the moment Derek couldn't hold onto himself for any longer.

"Right… and I have a pretty good idea on how you are going to do that." He yelled making his way up to Mark.

"Derek…" Addison breathed her eyes getting wider with every word he spoke

"Derek." Mark repeated "What are you doing here." He tried to stay calm, for Addison, but the fire could be clearly seen in his eyes.

"What sort of question is that? I'm here to fight for my wife!" Derek stated his voice filled with an anger he didn't know he had build up in such a short time

"You want to fight for Addison? Since when?"

"Since she is my wife!"

"I know that Derek, but you have seem to forgotten about that little detail when you screwed that intern."

"Oh shut up Mark, you slept with Addison!"

"Yes I did, and …. I regret that our relationship broke because of that, but I don't regret that night with her. She needed someone to care of her, someone to love her, someone to be there Derek. You weren't there, you didn't care and you didn't love her anymore. Don't tell me its not true, because we both know that would be a lie."

Derek looked defeated for a short moment before he started to yell again.

"How dare you? You were my best friend. Even if I was indifferent back in New York… it's none of your business."

"I made it my business. Who do you think Addison called when you told her once again you were staying at the hospital rather to be with her?"

"Mark, please..." Addison hesitated

"No Addie, he needs to know the truth, he needs to know how bad you felt… He needs to know how much he hurt you."

Tears were welling up in her eyes as she turned away to face the street.

"You were never around Derek. God you even left her alone on her birthday. Her own birthday for god sake. You don't know how much she cried that evening, how devastated she was when you didn't show…" he took a deep breath before he continued "And what about Christmas? Do you know how embarrassing it was for her to tell your family that you couldn't make it because some surgery was more important than to spend this magical day with your wife and your family?"

Derek looked at the ground not able to answer.

"Mark … please stop." Addison begged but Mark was in the middle of his outburst and nothing could stop him.

"And what about all the times she made dinner, dressed up and waited for you? The dinner got cold, the candles burned down and you still weren't home. And last but not least your anniversary when she made reservations in a fancy restaurant and was dressed in the most beautiful black dress I have ever seen… where were you Derek? I was there all those times to pick up the pieces.

"And to screw my wife!"

"That's not true, nothing happened until the night you caught us."

"And I am supposed to believe that right? Well I am not. I should have known you had feelings for her. I should have known. I bet you screwed my wife for quite some time already, right Addison?"

"STOP!" Addison now yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Stop… the both of you…" she looked at Derek "Nothing happened… Nothing…"

Derek shook his head. "After all he just told me… I cant believe that."

Addison got furious now "Its better you leave Derek… you don't trust me, you don't believe me, and you don't care for me. I don't want you here."

"But…"

"Don't but me Derek. Its true… How am I supposed to believe that you want to fight for us when you cant even trust me?"

"I… I... I do trust you Addison."

"The hell you don't."

"It's just… to picture you with him hurt so much."

"To picture you with Meredith didn't hurt any less."

"I know."

"But unlike you I stopped pining over Mark and tried to work on our marriage."

"I did too."

Addison started to laugh "Are you kidding me? You looked at Meredith like you wanted to do her right in the middle of the hospital floors and you never tried to save our marriage, you made no effort whatsoever."

"But I want to make some effort now!"

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that?"

"I don't want you to leave, I don't want you to be with this… Jerk over here, you don't belong to New York. You belong here with me."

"I don't think I do Derek. I cant stand to watch you being in love with this intern… I can´t stand going to bed alone and mostly wake up alone.. I can´t stand that the whole hospital knows that you are madly in love with the dirty mistress. I just cant Derek, my skin is not thick enough. I love you Derek, I really do… but I don't want to be hurt again." Addison turned around and started to walk towards the cab.

Mark faced Derek once more "I'm sorry, man, but you just hurt her too deep." He also turned around and walked away from Derek.

Derek stood there, his shoulders hanging as he watched the cab leave. His mind wandered back to Mark's words. They hurt him, but nevertheless they were all true. He knew that it was partly .. if not all his fault that Addison turned to Mark for comfort. And he believed them when they said it was the first time when he caught them. The look in Addison's eyes told them that she was honest about that.

The worst thing about the situation was that again he didn't tell her that he was in love with her and not Meredith. He couldn't even reply when she was pouring her heart out to him.

"Damn it." he yelled and earned some strange looks from people walking passed him

"I love you Addison." He whispered as tears started to roll down his cheeks and he watched the cap disappearing behind the corner of the street.

**TBC**

* * *

All right. That was it for this chapter. Did you like it? If you did.. please take 20 seconds to leave a review cause they really make my day :) oh and I remembered some other cute Addek scenes.. the kiss in 2.03.. I really loved it .. or she calling him honey...aww... then the kiss at the trailer under the rain.. and of course the poison oak scene .. haha that was funny.. you gotta love Addek memories, dont ya think? 


	5. Chapter 5

You guys are seriously awesome!! Thank you so much for all the kind reviews. 

**Rosy **– Yes I agree... sometimes he really is. He is mostly screwing things up. I know … Addison still loves him after all the pain she has been through... after the indifference… jus after everything she still loves him... thank you hon that you said I wrote Derek in character… and I promise in the following chapter.. I make him more likable ;)

**Lou-Lou-Moo-xx** – thank you. And well... if he runs... I don't know... but hey.. you know Derek.. he needs someone who kicks his ass first ;)

**WeAreAddisonAandDerek **– haha yeah that scene was the funniest one... "I slept with mark" "oh and he had poison oak on his..." "No I slept with Mark a year ago.. and apparently this is what I get".. haha . thank you so much.. and to see if you were right.. keep on reading.

**greysfan16 **– hehe actually you are the first one who called Derek poor. I hope the next chapter will repair your heart. Let me know if it did :o)

**Claire **– Thank you. Yeah I would honestly love seeing something like that on the show.. Derek realizing what he lost when he lost Addison... and I will always be Addek at heart.

**Carys **– thank you. And yeah hiatus sucks big time.. but it's almost over.. yay for that. Aww thanks for the compliment about the emotions :o) hope you like the next chapter

**Ingridmill **– hope it wasn't too sad. And glad you also liked Mark in this chapter.. hmm no fist fight .. I am sorry.. but maybe in the next Fanfiction.. who knows ;)

**Ladyforga72 **– thanks a lot. Hope you like the next chappy too.

**Lu78 **– thank you. Glad you liked it. And yes it really was also his fault. I agree. I really hope you like the ending of this chapter.

**Iheartaddi **– aww you commented about the roses.. thank you. And I am kinda positive that he will chase after her.. but we will see ;) aww seriously? Take a pic of all the Addek pics.. would like to see it :D

**salmonscrubs3 **– I miss them too.. it's a shame we rarely get to see Addek scenes. And thank you.

**Addieisagod **– hehe I already emailed you. I love the song … I could listen to it forever.

**picric drea** – Lol.. maybe I should write him a list "How to tell the love of your life how much you love her" hehe I love the teeth brushing scene... and I was so mad that it was cut.. argh. And thanks for the review

**Sibel **- Thank you. Yes I hope he will tell her.. well I know the ending .. you have to find out ;) I would have loved to see a confrontation between Derek and Mark on the show... a real one with Addie also there.. and Derek really noticing how much he hurt her. Hope you will like the finale chapter.

**Ellie **– I am also a sucker for happy Addek.. too bad we need Fanfiction to get it.. I would love it better if we also had it on the show .. but well... cough Shonda doesn't like Addek cough glad you like the chapter.

**Lisa **– yeah well.. that's Derek.. he has the perfect sense of timing (insert sarcasm) hehe its good that my fic reminded you of the happy Addek moments. And glad you are back on shipping them. Hope you like the last chapter :o)

**Michele **– Thank you. I am pretty sure Derek will fight some more... you'll see

**Bluelotus **–welcome to this thread here :o) good to know you agree.. it really was a heartbreaking episode for all of us. Oh I would love if Shonda would read some Addek fics and see what potential they have and always had.

**Disclaimer**: I still own nothing

Thanks Tna for beta reading

A/N: well well well.. the hiatus is almost over and I seriously can't wait for the next epi.. I REALLY want to see some Addek moments.. I truly can't believe that he is jus so caught up with Meredith that he doesn't even notice Addison anymore.. I mean heck.. she still cares for him.. she comforted him when his girlfriend was about to die… she made sure he was okay and she tried to save his girlfriend along with the others.. she didn't have to do this.. I am sure it hurt her so much to see Derek crying for another woman while he is ignoring her. I would at least like to see Derek thank Addison for what she did.. and tell her that he still wants her in his life.. he still needs her.. that he CARES!! I want him to CARE.

That said.. I expect the worst and hope for the best. That way I am not completely devastated if we don't get some Addek scenes.. who am I kidding? Of course I will be devastated! I love Addek.. Shonda give us some ADDEK!

Oh and almost no one wants to join the Addek house in denial land? I am shocked! Well.. more for me (goes back to star at all the poster hanging around the walls… happy Addek, kissing.. touching… making out… and so on)

All right… I kinda like to talk… like you see… but no on with the new and LAST chapter of Tears and Rain. I really hope you will like it.

* * *

_Previously on Tears and Rain:_

_Derek stood there, his shoulders hanging as he watched the cab leave. His mind wandered back to Mark's words. They hurt him, but nevertheless they were all true. He knew that it was partly .. if not all his fault that Addison turned to Mark for comfort. And he believed them when they said it was the first time when he caught them. The look in Addison's eyes told them that she was honest about that._

_The worst thing about the situation was that again he didn't tell her that he was in love with her and not Meredith. He couldn't even reply when she was pouring her heart out to him._

_"Damn it." he yelled and earned some strange looks from people walking passed him_

_"I love you Addison." He whispered as tears started to roll down his cheeks and he watched the cap disappearing behind the corner of the street._

**Part 5**

_Never again  
would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe_

"She is gone." Derek whispered at the other end of the line.

Richard sighed "You did everything you could to keep her from going?"

"I…. not really… I had everything planned... I had roses … I had a speech figured out so that I wouldn't stutter… I wanted to tell her that I love her and not Meredith… but..."

"What happened?"

"I saw her with Mark."

"And you went nuts." He rolled his eyes and went to sit upright in the chair at his desk.

"Kind of… Richard... what shall I do... she is gone... I lost her... forever!"

"When does her plane leave?"

"I... I don't know... Mark and Addison were on their way to the airport when I saw them… just about to get into the cab."

"Then it's not too late. You know that people often get to the Airport hours before the plane is actually leaving... so you have plenty of time to get there and get her to come back home."

Derek looked at his watch and ran his left hand through his hair "You are right… I have one last chance... I'm not going to blow it."

"Well hopefully... And Derek..?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell her what you feel. Don't think about Mark or anyone else... just think about the two of you… speak directly from your heart… and don't screw it up."

"I'll try. Thank you Richard."

"No problem. Just bring Addison home where she belongs."

Derek hung up his cell phone and started the car. The airport wasn't far away but he was still anxious not to make it in time. He didn't want to loose the love of his life just because he couldn't stop being a jerk. He needed to have her back, to have her in his life, because without her, life sucked.

xoxoxox

Addison sat on a chair at the airport bar and sipped on her glass of wine while she thought about Derek's appearance in front of the hotel. He looked so hurt... so determined... so… different. Lightly she shook her head to get rid of the thoughts when a hand softly touched her shoulder.

"Our luggage is all checked in." he said softly and noticed her tense against his hand "Are you okay?" Mark asked while sitting down beside her.

"Yeah, just dandy." She replied taking another sip.

"I am sorry. I know you are not okay... I just don't know what to say in situations like that." He rubbed her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"It's all right… I will be fine... I just... it will take some time."

"I will help you Addison… I.. I am sorry about what happened… about everything…" he took a deep breath "When you left New York to go after Derek I was miserable, I know that it was my fault that it didn't work out between the two of us… but I was scared.. and I … I just felt like I wasn't good enough for you. Like every time we were together... you didn't want me … you wanted Derek. Every time you looked at me, I could see it in your eyes that you were still in love with Derek, despite the feelings you had for me..."

"Mark…"

"No Addison, please let me say this... I don't know if I will ever have the courage to tell you, if I don't do it now." He softly touched her face "I have always loved you… even before that eventful night… long before that… I loved you for the most part of my life, you are smart, beautiful, and breathtaking, you are witty and you like to boss around people, you are honest, warm and kind… I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you." He closed his eyes and continued. "I will always love you Addison… but the most important thing is ... that you are happy. I want to make you happy... I know that you are vulnerable right now… and I don't want to rush into things… You don't have to say anything about my outburst… I just want you to know that I will always be there for you."

Addison had tears in her eyes and she leaned her face into the palm of his hand. "Thank you… for everything..." she kissed him softly on the cheek and turned her attention back to the glass of wine.

Mark nodded at her "We need to check in Addison... we don't want to plane to leave without us, do we?"

"No, no … of course not." She emptied her glass and stood up immediately taking Marks hand in hers. "Let's go."

Gently he squeezed her hand as they made their way to the gate.

"Boarding ticket please." The blond woman at the reception said in a sweet voice.

Mark handed the two tickets to the young lady; she stamped them and handed them back to him. "Have a good flight Sir." She smiled at him and turned her attention to the next passengers.

Addison took one last look around. She was leaving Seattle for good and her heart broke into one million pieces. She sighed and a single tear made her way down her cheek. "Goodbye" she whispered and turned back to catch up with mark.

xoxoxox

"I don't fucking care if I you cant let me in… I have to... don't you understand?... I have to border that damn plane." Derek screamed at the top of his lungs with fear in his eyes.

"I am sorry Sir. You need a ticket." The blond Stewardess tried to explain

"Then just give me a damn ticket…. please." He took out his credit card and held it in front of her nose.

"The flight is completely booked, I am really sorry."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me… The love of my life is about to leave with another man and you seriously don't let me pass?" Derek couldn't hold his emotions any longer and tears floated his cheeks.

The blond Girl sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat. "You are lucky that I have a thing for people in love." She said and looked directly into Derek's eyes "I can't let you pass…. but... for goodness sake...use the speaker… just... make it quick."

"Thank you… Thank you sooooooooooooo much." Derek threw his arms around the woman in front of him and twirled her until he was out of breath.

"Uhm… Sir… can you just put me down and carry on with this thing you came here for."

"I'm sorry… it's just… thank you." He let her down and took the speakerphone into his hands. The people behind him were staring but he couldn't care less. He remembered Richards words "Just speak right from your heart" he closed his eyes and slowly he started to speak:

"Addison? I hope you can hear me… I… first I wanted to apologize. Back in New York... I treated you like crap, I was not only indifferent but I also didn't care what I did to your feelings. I was too caught up with my job and wanted to be the most brilliant surgeon in the area. It was all about work and I didn't even realize that over all of that I ignored the one person I loved the most. I wasn't aware that you were drifting…that we were drifting apart, I wasn't aware of how much I hurt you and I am really sorry for that." He took a deep breath "When I saw you and Mark... I … flipped out… I didn't even realize that It was partly my fault that you… and him… I just want you to know… I forgive you… and I want to know that I do trust you... I trust you with all of my heart and I know now that you didn't mean to hurt me… it happened… and I know that you are sorry for it… you told me numerous times and I know you really are.

For a short moment he opened the eyes but the sight was blurry because of all the tears he cried.

"When you came to Seattle, I was still mad and again I treated you badly. I just couldn't forget what happened... it hurt too much… It hurt so much to think that I lost you… and I was all caught up in my relationship with Meredith because it was easy to pretend I was in love with her. It was easy to just be happy with her… but the truth is... I don't want to be happy with her… I want to be happy with you. I know I hurt you when I was pining after her… but that was just because things with us were complicated... and I didn't want complicated at that time... I wanted easy… things with Meredith were easy… When you handed me the divorce papers I knew you were serious about ending our marriage… but I wasn't ready … deep in my heart I always loved you and forgave you a long time ago.. I just couldn't convince my head.. and so I continued to punish you…. I can even describe how sorry I am for doing that to you. You know I'm not the one who is dealing with things … I acknowledge them… and I walk away… But I am done walking away Addison... I don't want to walk away anymore…

He noticed the people around him but they didn't bother him.

"It took me long to realize what I really want... It took you to leave and to yell at me to finally see that all I ever wanted was there all along. I know I have been jerk... and an idiot and I should probably change my nickname from McDreamy to McStupid… or something like that…I…I just want you back Addison... I want you back in my life... in my heart… I need you... you make me complete… you make life worth living… please give us another chance; please forgive me, I promise I won't screw up, please come home. I need you… I... I love you Addison… more than you'll ever know…"

He stopped talking and put the speaker back on the desk and looked down.

"Good luck Sir, I hope she'll come."

"Me too…" Derek sniffed

The tears were falling freely as Addison just stood there unable to move. She heard him… loud and clear and it made her heart wrench. His speech was perfect... and she knew that everything he said was meant honestly, she knew that he spoke right from the bottom of his heart. Suddenly she felt her left hand getting cupped with another and a gentle touch followed.

"Go…" Mark whispered into her ear

She turned around her face flushed with a look of surprise "What?" she managed to coax out of her dry throat.

"I said go… I know you still love him… and it seems that he finally came to his senses."

"But… "

"Do you love him?" Mark questioned looking directly into her eyes.

"More than he'll ever know." She replied another tear escaping from her eyelids

"See… "

"But I am still scared that he might hurt me again…"

"I have the feeling that he won't… and hey... everyone deserves a second change." Mark smirked at Addison and again squeezed her hand, then let go of her.

"Thank you."

"Don't you worry. Oh and Addison?" he called after her

"Yeah?"

"Tell him I will kick his butt if he messes this up."

She smiled at him "I will… and thank you so much Mark.. you are a great friend." She turned around and made her way to the exit.

"I know.." Mark mumbled "and that's all its gonna be… but I just wanted you to be happy… even if it is with him."

She smiled at him one last time "Bye Mark…"

"Bye Addison."

Derek had waited for what it seemed like an eternity. The people around him were starting to give him looks of compassion and the young blond stewardess in front of him sighed loudly.

"I'm sorry Sir… you tried your best."

"Apparently it still wasn't good enough…. Thanks for all your help, though." He ran his fingers through his hair and let his shoulders sink. How was he supposed to survive without Addison? He was about to turn around when he heard her voice.

"You're leaving without me?" she asked tapping him on the shoulder

He turned around and the long face quickly got replaced by a large smile.

"Addison!" he stated and couldn't believe his eyes. "You are here… you came back."

She nodded "I did…" She touched his face and ran her right hand down his left cheek "Even if you are a jerk.. you are my jerk… and I love you."

"I love you so much Addie, you have no idea… so does this really mean…?"

"Yes… " she nodded

"You are giving me another chance?

"Yes…"

"You still love me.. after all I did to you?…"

"Yes."

"You still want to be with me?"

"Yes…" Addison nodded again "just two things Derek?"

"Sure."

"First… don't screw this up." She said only half joking

"And second?"

"Stop asking me questions." She smirked

"What would I have done without you?" he asked one last question which was more likely a statement

"I have no idea… but … I hope you will never have to find out.

"Me too." He took her in his arms and looked into her beautiful emerald eyes. "I love you Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd

"And I love you Derek McStupid Shepherd"

And then he closed the last space between them and their lips met in a gentle and soft kiss, making them both forget the world around them.

THE END!!!

* * *

Yes.. this is the end. I really hope you liked it the way I wrote it. Like I said I am a sucker for happy Addek and of course I had to write a happy ending for those two. I just wanted to say thank you again for all the people who read and reviewed this Fanfic.. and I really hope you will review one last time :o) oh and maybe I will write an epilogue with some smut, if requested ;) otherwise this story is complete and Addek are back together and live happily ever after. 


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